


Poop Emoji Pillow

by Binchy_Inchy



Category: Original Work
Genre: Grinding, Inanimate Object Porn, Inanimate Objects, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Object Penetration, Other, Pillow - Freeform, Slurs, lgbtq slurs, objectophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:35:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24395131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Binchy_Inchy/pseuds/Binchy_Inchy
Summary: Kuso is a man who lives in a house with his older sister Shisuta. He is a fairly successful man, who had a healthy sex life and steady income before COVID-19 hit. His sister suggests he do something hilariously dumb, and he goes along with it just for shits and giggles, but ends up going a bit too far with his own fantasy.
Relationships: Ignis Clink/Lämp
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Poop Emoji Pillow

**Author's Note:**

> Toko’s fanfiction where Kuso Makura fucks a poop emoji pillow

Kuso pours the coffee into his mug, looking up at Shisuta with an unamused expression, dirty blonde brows firmly screwed together.  
“What the hell is wrong with you, Shi. It’s a pillow. You think EVERYTHING is hot.”  
“That’s what being attracted to pans does to you.” His sister responds, packing her purse and flipping it over her shoulder, finally satisfied with it’s contents. Makura shook his head,  
“Pansexual? It’s being attracted to every _one_ , not everything.”  
“Wrong.”  
The man rolled his eyes aggravatedly, tilting his mug back so he could take a sip of his black coffee.  
“Go to work.” He said, standing up and leaving the open kitchen, making his way over to the stairs, “Text me when you get there.”  
“Sure, Ku.” His sister waved him off and moved to grab her keys, but he only knew that because he heard it, already halfway up the stairs.

Kuso opened the door to his bedroom, walking inside and placing his half-full coffee mug on his desk table. He grabbed his laptop from his bed and moved it to where he would be sitting, head looking to the left where a mountain of pillows rested at the bottom of his bed. He snorted a laugh when he saw a dumb-looking one. It was small, the sides about the length of his forearm and it had a large logo of the poop emoji on it, stupidly smiling at him.  
Taking his amusement from it’s odd picture, Makura turns back to his computer and opens it up, logging in with his passcode and accessing Google Chrome.  
He begins to feel a little antsy though, thinking back to a little earlier this morning when he was trying to wank it and his sister yelled at him through the door to fuck his pillow instead, saying his virginity showed on his right arm. Obviously, he argued. He was a good-looking man with a good-looking dick and sometimes he wanted to love it just as much as the chics at his work do. Screw picking a high-paying job. Why would be want to be a landlord when he got so much money from tips as a barista? Shisuta didn’t get it though, and he didn’t blame her. She was kind of ugly.  
Anyways, back on the topic of his dick... maybe a pillow wasn’t that bad of an idea. It’s not like he could ring someone up for a booty call, given the state of the world right now, so why not.  
Makura clicks on his Bookmarks and opens up his good friend Cornhub, clicking onto the first video that caught his eye (which ended up being a guy fucking a lamp, because who WOULDN’T click on that? What the hell??) and leans back to pull his poop emoji pillow closer, getting ready.  
He pushes down his casual shorts and exposes himself, letting the video play in the background while he tries to figure out how to work the pillow properly. He doesn’t want to grip it too hard, but at the same time, it was way too loose to actually take him. Maybe a better idea was to shove another pillow inside it, or... oh, wait. He didn’t realize this before, but it didn’t have a pillowcase or hole yet. Wonderful, he’ll just make one.  
Kuso swiped a fork from a bowl of eaten tuna and mayonnaise that was on his desk, and plunged it into the bottom of the pillow, tearing it open just enough for his penis to be able to fit through. The instrument clattered against the wood when he set it down again, glancing up at the screen. The man there was now thrusting the inanimate object into his ass with vigor and Ku wondered if it hurt to do that. It didn’t seem like it did, with the weirdo moaning the lamp’s name as if it was his girl... boy?friend? He caught himself there. Whoops. Yeah, not everyone was as straight as him. Kuso could watch gay porn and still be straight. He thought that was the straightest thing he could ever do, but his sister insisted that he was at least a liiittle bit gay. No. He wasn’t.  
And, god damnit, his erection was dying down the longer he thought of his sister— he needed to get to it.  
The edges of the pillow slid over his half-flaccid cock, and he sighed out though his nose, welcoming the sensation. It actually felt quite nice to him the first time, but as he kept rubbing the fabric over his cock at an even pace, he began to feel the effects of having something that absorbed liquid run over sensitive genetalia.  
Kuso thought for a moment, then stood up off the office chair and grabbed his computer, placing it on the wall of plushies and taking his pants off so that he could crawl over to the screen and get on his knees. He puts the pillow down on the bed and spreads his legs to climb over it, lowering his pelvis down onto the soft fabric.  
Makura begins to rock his hips gently back and forth, taking his pleasure from the square of polyester and cotton and losing himself to his darkest fantasies.  
“Hah... imagine that. I’m running my cock all over your ugly face... I bet you like it.”  
He moved faster, grabbing his dick and smearing some precum around the mouth of the poop emoji, groaning in sadistic satisfaction.  
Kuso realizes with mild surprise that he made a noise at the same time as the guy in the video, who was now begging someone to “fucking ruin me, please... please... holy shit! There! Th... mmm!”  
And on top of Kuso’s mild surprise... there was also short shock that he enjoyed those moans. Maybe it was something about the two of them dirty talking objects instead of actual people. It almost seemed like they were taking to each other... or talking to themselves, together.  
“Oh yeah, I’ll fucking _ruin_ you!..” Ku said while looking down at his pillow, biting his lip to suppress any open-mouthed sounds he might have made in that moment. The feeling of something as unnatural as a simple pillow giving him pleasure was a huge turn-on, making him leak even more onto the brown stitches.  
“God, I’m gonna cum! Lämp!” Came the voice of the lamp fucker, and Kuso responded.  
“Mm, you’re gonna let me paint your face with my cum? You gonna take it like a good bitch?”  
“Lämp, please, let‘m take everything... oh my god, give me all... all... fuck! I’m com-mnnng!”  
Makura huffs a bewildered laugh despite the fact that he was already getting very close to his own release, gripping the edge of the pillow tightly,  
“What a fucking faggot. Already getting close just from this, hm?” He said automatically, groaning out loud and almost reaching down to jerk off, but managing to stop himself, deciding that he would rather find a way to cum like this. After all, he was doing the whole thing for the sole purpose of _not _using his hands.  
“Hands off... fuck, you’re disgusting... Ugh!” Kuso grabbed at his long, blonde-brownish hair, voice high and thighs moving as fast as they could, chasing his release.  
“Just admit you like this... mmh! And you can cum— ah... I li—“ he gasps, finding the perfect angle and raising himself on his knees to try and hit it again, “—I like.. I like this! _Shit..._!”  
And with that, release hit him, sperm shooting out and landing all over his laptop, and not at all on the pillow like he expected.  
Kuso draws in heavy breaths, sitting down fully and leaning over, forcing himself to come to despite the recent orgasm. But the realization that he came onto his iMac and not anywhere else took away all chances of an afterglow too.  
“You stupid— pillow! You tricked me!” Annoyed at having to clean everything up now, the man throws the pillow at his door (which shuts upon impact) and reaches over to grab his box of tissues, starting to wipe at his computer’s keys. They spazzed a little, but otherwise ended up perfectly fine at the end of it all, and Makura sighed in relief, falling back against his bed.  
He was once again alone with his thoughts, realizing how dangerous they really were. He has to find a way to forget them... he can hardly believe he said all of that to himself.  
Disgusting... despicable. Cumming to the audio of a guy, nonetheless without using his hands at all. It’s like he learned nothing from high school.  
Wait, no. He can’t think about it. It doesn’t matter what he does now, because it’s the present. He shouldn’t get hung up on the past— it doesn’t exist anymore. He’s living his own life just like he wants to, with no ties to what happened to his old self. That’s right.__

__He’s being himself, however he wants to be._ _


End file.
